Why Revisiting Your Definitions Will Set You Free

Ever since we came into being, our parents, relatives, and teachers have modeled ideas of success, love, fun, and belonging for us. Whether they suggested what career you had to take, or designed certain value sets in you, the fact is this - we’ve been influenced. As a therapist, I’ve listened to all kinds of stories on career, romance, friendships, family, and so forth. And while we have been taught to the best of their ability, here are a few reasons why it’s time for you to revisit your definitions on love, relationships, success, and living your life:

3 Ways to Work on Your Own Light

In a book by Dr. Joseph Michael Levry, he expounds on the teachings of kabbalah and how it is so important for us to work on our own auras if we would like to see our relationships improved. He says, “everyone has a unique aura, which vibrates at a particular frequency.” It is this frequency that determines what we attract into our lives. The aura, according to Levry, “is a psychic field of energy that surrounds the body” - sort of like a protective light. And in however bright or dim this light shines, it can affect us.

The Sacrament of Waiting by Fr. James Donelan, S.J.

The English poet John Milton wrote that those who serve only also stand and wait. I think I would go further and say that those who wait render the highest form of service. Waiting requires more discipline, more self-control and emotional maturity, more unshakable faith in our cause, more unwavering hope in the future, more sustaining love in our hearts that all the greatest deeds of deering-do go by the name of action.

Waiting is a mystery – a natural sacrament of life – there is a meaning hidden in all the times we have to wait. It must be an important mystery because there is so much waiting in our lives.

On The Reading List: The Art of Healing

As a health practitioner there are a few books that I really do appreciate from other experts. Perhaps this is because of my background in interdisciplinary studies that I discover how much richer a practice can become when fused with other techniques. The Art of Healing by Bernie Siegel, M.D. is one of those books. Written in '70s, Siegel pours age old wisdom into The Art of Healing by incorporating psychological techniques with his medical practice. How? Through projective tests or what we commonly know as drawings.

It's Not Just About Thinking Positively, Here's Why:

Popular culture has us believing that thinking positively will change our lives in a snap. So much so that when bad things arise, we feel like we're the idiots for even allowing it into our space. While it might be true that we are in control of certain things, it looks as if this kind of thinking has minimized the mere experience of difficulty, struggle, and pain. And sometimes it's not as easy as just "thinking positively", shifting, or rebooting our thoughts. Here's why:

3 Things We Can All Learn from Seafarers

In the last 13 months, I have been cast into the ocean of the maritime world, going on board vessels, attending conferences, having honest conversations with the crew, and learning the ropes of this massive operation. While it has been exciting (and sometimes scary), I have found most value in the conversations I have shared with the crew. While I came to teach them, it appears that they have in turn enriched my journey with important lessons that we could all certainly learn from:

How Traveling Solo Taught Me the Most About Self-Compassion

Two years ago I joined a mindfulness program that has encouraged me to meditate every single morning, engage in morning exercise, and incorporate mantras into my day - all this with the intention to enhance my own sense of self-compassion. Wherein I have read books on the topic and even developed my own personal exercises for them, I realized that nothing could enhance my own self-compassion more than going out into the world all by myself. I always believed that learning happened best through actual experience. While we can sit down and do self-compassion exercises, going on solo flight to a place completely unknown taught me a few things about what it meant to be compassionate.

On the Reading List: Books that will force you out of your comfort zone

If there's one thing I love the most, it is gaining new insight from the books that I read. It's been awhile since I've really been able to enjoy a good book, given all the work and events that I have gotten myself into, but very recently I came across two books that have urged me to step outside of my comfort zone to enhance my own personal growth. I admit I'm still half way through them, but let me tell you why you should already grab yourselves a copy:

5 Big Lies We Tend to Tell Ourselves

It is part of our human nature to create defenses / excuses that can save us from feelings of overwhelm. These mechanisms or safeguarding tendencies are what personality theorists describe as behaviors that help protect the ego from the demands of the superego, id, and the demands of reality around us. Sometimes, it is deeply programmed into us, at other times, our subconscious tries to find the most creative way for us to get out of situations that we no longer wish to put up with. In the years that I have had to do therapy and healing, it has become evident to me that there are 5 basic lies that we all tend to tell ourselves to help us in our coping. And whether we realize it or not, these 5 basic lies are deeply embedded into us as a culture that we don't realize how they tend to limit us in our social, emotional, mental, and professional well-being. They are:

3 Ways to Turn Your Meltdown into Your Greatest Breakthrough

When we're caught in a tight situation, our tendency is to immediately find a solution, often pouring in too much red into a very green mixture. And when we realize that we've fucked it up even more, we begin to lose hope, feel angry, frustrated, annoyed, and whatever else. But it is in this darkness, this overwhelm, and this pain of an experience, motivational speaker Tony Robbins says, we can find our greatest breakthroughs. How? Here are three concrete steps we can take to start:

A Step-by-Step Guide to Exploring Your Limiting Beliefs

Have you ever seen a dog on a short leash? They can hardly take two steps, sit, or lay down. They're so uncomfortable that they start to get incredibly cranky. While the leash might have served its purpose for them as pups, grown dogs on short leashes could affect them physically, mentally, and emotionally - from sheer frustration that they cannot seem to do anything. When we outgrow our belief systems but still hold them so close to our hearts, they too, can be paralyzing - keeping us on a short leash and denying us the possibility of experiencing life to the fullest.

3 Basic Tools for Surviving Life's Changing Tides

A few weeks ago, I attended a Crew Conference for the Maritime industry, where they had all kinds of high-tech, life size simulations for training the seafarer. Everything was built and designed to help the seafarer navigate and read data precisely as it comes up. As you can imagine, these vessels are huge - about the length of a 20 - 30 story building. And if you watched Titanic, then you know how steering such a large vessel and making the right calls are equally important, otherwise, accidents can happen. Aside from hitting icebergs, ships can collide with one another, and when crew men take safety on board for granted, engine rooms can spark and lead to combustion.

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